What is Awkwardness? Overcome Your Awakwardness and Social Anxiety With this Simple Sonderness Technique

E. How to use Sonderness to resolve Awkwardness?

Sonderness

Sonderness is a relatively new dictionary word coined by John Koenig in 2012 to come up with emotional words that are presently missing from the dictionary. The word sonder comes from the French word “sonder” which means “to probe.”

Sonderness refers to understanding the intricacies of a situation through the lens of multiple dimensions such as science, philosophy, history, psychology, mathematics, and so on and so forth. I offer you a simple framework of sonderness that doesn’t require too much technical knowledge, but at the same time adds multidimensionality to a situation. The more dimension you add to a situation, the lesser you will run wild in your imagination.

A simple sonderness model to resolve awkward situations of life

1. History: Look for at least three historical events where your situation occurred and look for a validation of your decision in at least three historical events that resulted in favorable outcomes.
2. Law: Search for the law in your constitution and see if there is a punishment in the law for your situation or not.
3. Mythology: Look for your situation in Bhagwat Geeta, Mahabharata, Ramayana, Old Testament, Quran, etc. Our ancestors understood life like no one because their very survival was dependent upon understanding humans. All such wisdom is encoded into these religious and mythological texts(though laterally).
4. Evolution: Look for your situation throughout human evolution. If what you are planning to do has a correlation to negative outcomes in the evolution, then be careful.
5. Observe in the animal kingdom: Almost 80% of our genes are the same as that of mice and elephants. So if your situation is normal, you will find proof in the animal kingdom. Remember, we are socially conditioned to behave in certain ways, but that doesn’t take away the animal inside us.
6. Prevent your imagination and prediction: You are not going to think about a situation in your brain, but would rather write down every thought and feelings associated with it. Any prediction your brain makes has to be crushed. No one can predict an unpredictable life. Anything that has happened in the past may repeat in the future, but anything that is to happen in the future can no way be known at the present.
7. How people think, feel, and what people say is their choice, not your responsibility: As you might have already noticed while reading this article that we can change the way we see at life by bringing more depth into the events. When anyone applies the above theory about an event, one can never react impulsively. If anyone is reacting impulsively about a situation, it means that one is unaware of the event processing methodologies and lazy enough not to process information in depth. Someone’s laziness(whomsoever it may be including your partner, parents, friends, or relatives) and resulting thoughts, feelings and words are not your responsibilities. No one cares, because everyone has their own awkwardness to deal with.

So, you have to write down a situation, apply the two laws with careful assessment, and then apply assessment based on the above model. The key is unloading the thoughts from the brain into a paper and writing them down. The key idea behind overcoming awkwardness is coming out of the imaginary brain.

⛔Most people who have this tendency of getting into an infinite loop of awkwardness and imagination, often try to seek easy answers to their problems, and seek opinion and support from a trusted person in life, or on the internet. Please be cautious that the way you couldn’t judge the father beating his son properly when there were more depth and information in the event, the exact same way, no one else can judge your life situation without going through the process I elaborated in this article. No one has the time, energy, experties, deep study, methods, and discipline to sit with other’s problems and solve them.

So, you must absolutely not involve too many people in your situation as their lazy judgement may harm and hurt you in long-run of life even if they validate your current choices, as they will lose or gain nothing out of your decisions.