What is Awkwardness? Overcome Your Awakwardness and Social Anxiety With this Simple Sonderness Technique

D. When Awkwardness becomes toxic?

The way lack of awkwardness becomes toxic and leads to dangerous actions that may put one’s life at risk, the same way feeling awkward about any action that you want to take will make you feel awkward about yourself, and that is toxic. Awkwardness about everything will make you so hollow and devastated from inside that after a certain age, you will stop accepting yourself.

How to judge whether awkwardness is valid or toxic?

Let us first create a framework for us to know if the awkwardness is valid awkwardness. If we can efficiently classify awkwardness, we can efficiently eliminate the awkwardness from the decisions where awkwardness is invalid.

For, this we will apply the following two laws to a situation:

1. The primary objective of life is to survive, thrive, and reproduce. Any awkwardness about an action that may put someone’s life at risk, or ability to reproduce at risk, or safety and growth at risk is a valid awkwardness.
2. The first law of morality: Everyone has an equal right to live the full potential of life.

That’s all, and that’s simple. Or is it? Here “someone” means you and anyone else, not only others. And everyone includes you.
Let us now take some real-life examples and see if the awkwardness is justified or not.

1. You two are in mutual love, your parents want you to marry someone else, and you are feeling awkward about marrying your love. This awkwardness is bad because this puts your chance of reproduction at risk, and puts you at risk of emotional turmoil which might affect your survival. Also, this is awkward because your parents are not going to have your partner, and so the choice of your partner will not affect the reproduction of the parents. The purpose of the marriage is to pair bond and give birth and raise a healthy child.
   
2. You want to pursue an uncommon carrier(say shoe polish). You are feeling awkward about what will parents and society say. You are good at shoe polish, it is a skill. You are passionate about this skill. You can do this without money for hours. besides you get to meet many top people and have conversations with them while polishing their shoes. So, you may get knowledge, money, passion, emotion, and a future possibility of starting a shoe polish subscription company. After the age of 18, arranging livelihood is everyone’s responsibility. Any human being who doesn’t do it suffers from the disease. Your shoe polish will not affect your parent’s livelihood. (yes people may mock them but even that wouldn’t affect their livelihood. No doctor will say he won’t see your parents because their son polishes his shoes). So the awkwardness of pursuing your passion is wrong.
   
3. You saw your childhood love. You want to talk to her. We are social animals and relationships are not always about sex and lust. We want good social interactions too. Meeting an old acquaintance gives a good positive vibe and experience in life. So if you go and talk to her when your partner is around is not awkward as you are doing the social duty of conversation. If your partner behaves aggressively, then that is awkward, because she may be suffering from morbid jealousy.
   
4. You may be drunk and want to drive fast. But you are feeling awkward. This is right awkwardness because fast driving under drunk conditions may put other’s life in danger.
   
5. You are pregnant and you want to abort but are feeling awkward about it. This awkwardness is right, because every being has a right of living the full potential of life, and the zygote in your womb is a life. Whenever we deny someone their full potential of life, our brain starts hating us and harming us and short our life too.
   
6. You have a prospective child from a relationship that has no social name. You want to abort because the child gives you an awkward feeling about how people will judge you. This awkwardness is unjustified, because a child is a property of the state and society, and will grow up to serve the society. Bringing and raising this child will not put anyone’s life at risk.
   
7. You are an entrepreneur and want to give an exit to some of your employees as the economy is struggling. This awkwardness is wrong, as our survival is our first goal. If your employees were competent they would have brought profit even under a struggling economy. If the company dies, you may not survive, your family may not survive, and your chance of providing future employment when the economy is better diminishes. So you give exit today to survive one more day. If they are good, they will find their livelihood.
   
8. You don’t have enough money to buy a home. But your parents want to see you have your own home before they die. You are eligible for a loan. But you are not sure of the economy and thus don’t know if you can pay the EMI every month for the rest of your life. Taking a loan feels awkward. This awkwardness is right. That is because it threatens your survival, puts you under economic burden, and may prevent your growth. So your stress-free life is more important than your parent’s desire.
   
9. You like call girls and want to run a brothel business. But you feel awkward about it. This awkwardness is right because a brothel may spread sexually transmitted diseases, and that may put many life in danger as well as threaten the healthy reproduction of males in society.
   
10. You bought a new dress thinking it would look good on you. But when you wear this for a function, it looks odd to you. You feel awkward going to the function in this dress. This awkwardness is wrong because what you wear will not threaten anyone else’s livelihood in the function, anyone else’s reproduction and function is an event in life, not a pursuit, and so won’t threaten anyone’s thriving.
    
11. You have small breasts and you are thin(or very fat) and you feel awkward about your body: This awkwardness is right as your brain perceives this as a threat to potential quality reproduction in the future. You can always put up hard work through exercise, a good lifestyle, and good reading to improve your body.
    

When you study the above situations closely, you will see that feelings and imagination are kept aside while dealing with the awkward feelings, and instead rule-based is applied.

Remember, awkwardness itself is not unhealthy, but what you do about it determines the toxicity of the awkwardness. Most people remain struck in their imagination, and does no hard work in researching the situation, but rather look for easy and quick solution(or validation).