Table of Contents
C. The Principles of Social Money, Social Currency, Social Capital, and Social Transaction
Everyone knows a cliche that your network is your net worth. However, very few people are aware and understand that only assets have worth, and building any asset requires capital.
Social asset, which is supposed to create your worth has to have social capital investment. To invest capital, you need to first acquire the capital. Money is the unit quantity of the capital. Therefore in order to have sufficient social capital to build your social wealth which would later contribute towards your net worth, you need to start making social money and transacting this money.
Conversations, Stories, and Insights as the Social Currencies
One of the weaknesses that every human being has from the beginning of evolution is stories and real insights. It is the insights that make one’s life easy in making better day-to-day decisions. Becoming 10% better by recognizing people, and trends and making better decisions improves people’s lives significantly.
However, if you walk past any groups at any social gathering such as a tea shop or a food joint street, the only discussion you will hear will be about current affairs, news, and some sports. The problem is negative news sales. Therefore more of the current affair discussions are negative discussions.
People today are dying to talk about themselves, to talk about something positive, to learn something meaningful, and to be more knowledgeable and insightful than their peers. People are frustrated with negativity and the stress of everything.
The more people can talk about themselves before you, the more they like you.
Listen, today everyone is lonely and has no one to talk to. Talking to some random people about deep issues in life is less risky, as such a discussion with relatives might be used against them. There is too much noise. Everyone wants to talk, no one wants to listen.
You fill this gap.
a) Regularly visit places where there is more crowd
Make a habit of going to small business clusters, where there are many people, or shops where people drop in for tea or coffee. You want to transact more, and not premium. So you start your social currency exchange in the streets. As you get better at it, you may occasionally go to other places like clubs and pubs and advance your social game.
Go to places where there are many people, and yet people are not running, like in the evening, see someone who is alone, and just start a conversation. Initially, you will feel awkward in this. Over a period of time, when you repeat this process over and over again, you will be addicted to the social exchange and conversation.
b) Start a conversation by appreciating any random person for his/her uniqueness
If you don’t know how to start a conversation, start by genuinely appreciating any random person for anything interesting he/she has. One may be wearing a unique color cloth, or maybe carrying a unique design bag, or may have a unique hairstyle, or perhaps a unique talking or walking style, or anything.
Just appreciate them for their uniqueness and ask them to share more about it. Like “Hey, such a unique dress color. I come here regularly but have never seen someone wearing such a color dress. Is there a name for the color?”
Once the random person responds. You are not to stop there. Just tell the person to share the story of that cloth, why this color? Why he is emotional about it, where does he buy the clothes from? Finally, shake hands and exchange your names.
c) Avoid “what you do” at all costs
Remember, your goal for the next six months is to understand more people and eliminate biases from your brain. When you want to ask what someone does, you again fall into the trap of either attracting or avoiding group identity.
And if you are asked, “What do you do?” just reply playfully “I come to drink coffee and listen to people’s stories”
Remember, you are building your social skills outside your job, and so you are creating a unique social identity for yourself that is in no way connected to your job.
In your social businessman persona, all you do is become more social.
d) Avoid exchanging phone numbers
You have had enough of devices and mobiles. You are out here in the real world to win the social game. You would never want to go back to your cocoon of mobile. If you are asked about your number, then just say “Oh, I am a wired person, I don’t use mobiles.”
Carry some cash and pay by cash. When you come to play your social game, you keep your mobile at home. Remember, cricketers and footballers don’t go to the pitch with their devices. It is a game, a business, and so you become professional.
e) Repeat the same place for three days, then change the place, again come back
As you start becoming better in the social game, you will again start becoming comfortable with the area and people. You don’t want your comfort zone. You want the people you met to miss you and come back there looking for you.
You go to other places, meet new people, gather new stories. You go back to the previous place after some days. When you see people waiting for you, you know that you have started making a difference in people’s lives and you are getting valued more socially.
f) Don’t talk about yourself or your life.
Today, people have lost their ability to listen. Whenever someone talks, they remain in their imaginary world, pick up some keywords, and wait for their turn to talk.
You are filling a market void for a good listener. So during a conversation, even when someone asks you about your life, just playfully avoid it and say “Ah, tired of talking about myself, let’s talk about you. I am a passionate listener, but don’t have many stories from my life.”
You want to create a social dependency on people for you. You need to become a good listener, and collect and remember people’s stories, rather than become a good talker.
g) Journal your social experience daily
If you start doing the exercise positively, then over a period of six months, you would already have interacted with 360 individuals, at two interactions/day. Remember people’s names, their stories.
When you start writing your social experience, you will also start discovering new patterns. Start writing them these patterns.
h) Pick up previous threads in the conversation
Whenever you meet someone again, greet them by their name. People love to hear their names. One of the top common qualities that all successful politicians have is that they are able to remember every single name of the people they meet.
Ask about the past threads, and ask about progress. In that way, you would know the continuation of these stories.
i) Gather data from the shop owners
So when you go to a tea shop, people purchase a cup of tea. But that is a goods transaction. People miss out on the social transaction. You drank tea and paid ₹10. You missed social currency exchange. Over 90% of people miss out on the social transaction with the shop owners. They observe customers, read the patterns, observe the changing trends and behaviors, and they know about people more than anyone.
Don’t be like the 90% of the people. Start asking questions like “What is the new trend” the owner is observing amongst the customers. Appreciate the tea. These new insights then would go into your arsenal for future communication.