My husband is a covert narcissist and I cannot leave him due to family pressures right now. How do I deal with him?
Question by one of our readers
Table of Contents
Existing Methods for Co-existance with Narcissist
Experts suggest a few standard methods:— Gray Rock, No Contact(Which you can’t do), Exagarating, Mirroring, etc.
All of them tell you how to deal with a toxic person(Let me avoid the term Narcissist because I don’t have clinical details).
What Lyfas Suggests
However, what is the most time-tested thing is FOCUS ON SELF.
- Set your own goals in life. Pursue them crazily.
- Have a routine in life.
- Get your emotions from your work and achievement.
- Keep thinking and planning how you can grow more.
Most Narcissists(Compensatory/Overt/Covert), Psychopaths are goal-oriented. They are mostly workaholics. One of the things they dislike is you to have your own goals so that you can remain a cheerleader for them for life.
Just turn yourself into a highly ambitious goal-chasing individual and your mind stops paying heed to what he says or wants to say or feels or his remarks.
Obviously, initially, he will encourage you in your goal, and then when you start getting success, he will discourage you, trash you, give you all sorts of advice, mock you. But, you keep your goals before anything.
Chasing a goal helps you deal with literally any bad mental health condition, including the one you suffer in the company of a toxic person.
Best Method of Co-existance with Narcissist before you Can Leave Them
Dr. Ross Rosenberg’s Observe but Don’t Absorb method is an absolute winner in such a case.
How Observe doesn’t absorb work is:
- You first isolate your emotions from the person, by convincing yourself that you are independent of what your husband says, or narrates.
- Then you make a diary and write down every behavior of the narcissist.
- Then you study what triggers him and how.
- Feel satisfied by learning.
- Stop giving any emotions.
- Learn a few other techniques like exaggeration and mirroring and live happily.
Further Reading on Narcissistic Husband that You Can not Miss

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I liked how you wrote that most narcissists tend to discourage you when you start getting success. My friend suffered from a narcissistic relationship. I should advise her to take narcissistic abuse therapy to achieve full recovery.
@Victoria, thank you for your comment and thank you for sharing your emotion with us. We would be grateful for your kind reference. Thank you.