Table of Contents
Context
Cross 30, people all around you will appear happy and prosperous. Go deep into their lives and you will know that most of them are struggling.
By what?
A strained and bad relationship. They would pretend to be happy and throw you gyaan on the happiness, but deep down they are just adjusting with the life, compromised and pained.
But Why?
Because we know more about a car than the other gender, about Ohm’s law than a marriage law, about Virat Kohli more than love.
And, Why Not?
Because we were gaslighted to believe that “a great career is a key to a great life”. And we invested everything into this.
The Truth( or the facts?)
Just because you signed a piece of paper, your genes will not act that way. They will follow the evolutionary principle. The laws of love and relationships are never documented and told because they are uncomfortable. By the time you discover this truth, you are already messed up and can’t fix it. The problem is, it is extremely hard for our brain to introspect and see the mistakes we did, the problems we have, and the limitation we couldn’t overcome.
We blame our partners, forget whatever good we had with them, and pretend to think everything is toxic. We are the saints, and our partner is or was a devil.
Then you start looking for a new love, a new partner, and freedom from the old relationship. Or you manage your life around the relationship and find some other purpose to stay focussed and keep you deviated from your love life.
The reality that the relationship is not working, or was not working because of me, is something that not many says, introspects, and try to fix the issues.
16-24-50R Law for the Youths
The window for you to learn, prepare and build a serious relationship is between the ages of 16-24. Invest 50% of your time into it. You can do Engineering at the age of 35, but it’s tough to build a relationship post 24.
Don’t let yourself and others convince yourself otherwise. Don’t mess up life.
Often people think that a relationship is just about romance. It is not.
To keep a relationship going, you got to have:-
- Growth mindset
- Team Mindset
- Becoming better versions
- Better communicator and having better social skills.
- Getting better with Looks, Style, etc.
- Goal setting as partners and pursuing them.
- Better health.
- Better observer.
- Intimacy
- Stories.
- Ability to love doing the repeatative tasks.
- Good Learner.
- Social Skills.
- Humor.
- Financial Discipline.
- Self-Esteem.
And several other important skills and abilities.
These are life skills and these skills that you will master will strengthen the relationship are the ones that will drive your future success. These need time to understand, develop, master. And once you do, your relationship and the skills, make you invincible.
Also, as you age, your priorities will change. Your hormonal profile, and thus physiology will change. In college, you will have many buddies, so, you won’t feel the pressure. You will assume that these friends will remain with you for their entire life. In a few years, you will only be running alone in a rat race. Ultimately, you will have no time to think about the relationship.
Ask Yourself:-
- Do I have the ability to approach opossite gender if I like someone?
- Can I stand for myself and my choices?
- Do I have enough experience to understand the language, need, desire, strength and weakness of the other gender?
- Do I have enough to offer to the other gender that I am irreplacable?
- Have I learned enough?
- Have I planned for a relationship?
- Do I know wnough about the stressors of a relationship?
- Am I skilled enough to drive a relationship?
Conclusion
You will fail in anything that you do not know enough about, that you have not given enough time to, that you have not considered as a necessity in life, in fact, the core to life.
Imagine how hard it is to live with one kidney, one hand, one eye, one leg, one ear? I know you are thinking, we do live with one heart, one liver, one mouth, and one brain. Yes, because two hands, two legs, help you get the food, lungs bring you Oxygen, kidneys filter the mess, and so, brain and heart can manage the system, and liver can act as a bank. Try to become a producer, manager, bank, caretaker, all alone and you have a hard life.
Do people not live alone? They do. But, those who have unlocked the power of relationship, lives much better life. Try doing all your daily activities with one hand for one day. You shall understand the analogy. So, learn, prepare, experiment, measure, get better at relationships. If this was not essential for survival, evolution wouldn’t have given us the emotions for love, and companions.
A good relationship heals, loneliness eventually kills.
👨🏻🔬🔬
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