Table of Contents
What is meant by Abuse?
Violence, aggression, manipulation, gaslighting, control, psychological, and physical are several definitions and perceptions of what actually is abuse.
However,
abuse is simply violating the boundaries of an individual
Boundaries are the emotional, physical, and psychological demarcation that helps an individual identify himself or herself from the rest of the crowd and the universe. Every individual has the right and necessity to identify himself/herself without ever being confused about that identity.
For example, you are reading this post. Which means that you feel you are being abused in one way or the other. You might have experienced any or many of the followings.
- Someone is peeking into your personal life.
- Someone is questioning you about your choices.
- Someone is implanting thoughts in you.
- Someone keeps telling you who you are(projecting their version of you onto you), like “you are such a miserable person,” or parents telling a girl child, “you are like our son.”
- Someone is checking your phone or diary.
- You are informing someone where you are and about every fine-grain location of your movement.
- You might have wanted to do something in life that you are passionate about, but your parents are forcing you to do something else.
- You might have felt bad about certain situations and started crying when the others might have protested, “why are you crying? be strong.”
Abuse is simply denying, or altering and influencing someone’s thoughts, feelings, desires, emotions, concerns, physical boundaries, privacy, voice, perception, pain, hope and life.
Often, what is abuse to an abuser is fair for the abuser. Furthermore, what is perceived as abuse to one may be quite well acceptable to the other. This is where the abuse amplifies because, most often or not, abuse becomes normal and normally becomes abuse.
Example, people think that picking up their phone and calling anyone, anytime, without setting a context and preparing for the call is not an abuse and if anyone doesn’t respond to such abusive privacy and peace violating act is an abuse “why did you not pick my call?”
Why are abusers, sinners?
Sin is when someone acts against the will and design of God. God has created us all uniquely. No two humans ever born have the same fingerprints, genes, or Iris. We are all individuals. If God was to make us born in a group, he would have created us as Hindus, Muslims, doctors, engineers, French, and Indians. All the Indians would then have the same genes and traits.
Therefore, anyone who affects the individualism of others is a sinner. Anyone who refuse to accept the right of others to see themselves as a unique entity and recognizes that entity and interacts with that entity as an individual rather than treating the entity as an object based on one’s perception of the individual, then one refuses to accept the core design of the God and is, therefore, a sinner.
Why does society appear to be so abusive?
One key fundamental of human nature drives one to become abusive even without one knowing that they have become abusive. This is the desire to feel powerful. The way one feels powerful is by controlling others. Feeling like being a God is the ultimate desire of that power. So, doctors feel like God because they can save people’s lives. Teachers feel that they are like God because they are educating rather uncivilized children. Mothers feel that they are God because they are giving birth. Politicians feel like God because they can make any policy that most have to follow.
If others follow what we want them to do, then we must be powerful, and if we are powerful, we will be safe. This is the key feeling that drives a large portion of the population. You now know that abuse is an outcome of a person’s insecurity.
The way we express our frustration with anger, sorrow with tears, joy with smiles, the same way inner insecurities are expressed by abusing others.
But why so many people are insecure in society?
Abuse starts right in childhood by not allowing a child to separate and individualize from the parents, or in simple terms, not allowing the child to create boundaries.
- It can be turning parental love into conditional love:- if you come first in class, we will love you.
- It can be curtailing a child’s free thoughts or wishes in the name of “respect parents.”
- It can be using physical power or violence to suppress the child’s actions.
- It can be withholding the child from exploring the world.
- It can be comparing the child with others, where the child wants to be like others to get parental love. It can be putting the child on to pedestal like a prince or prince or downgrading the child as trash.
When a child is abused in the above way, he/she grows up insecure and unsure about the individual identity. So, one fails to connect to the self and can only experience themselves through external validation. Rather than being an individual of healthy psychology, emotions, thinking, and intellect, one becomes a fragmented self of opinions and views.
Because awareness that all the above are forms of child abuse has diminished, child abuse has become rampant, and therefore the number of insecure individuals has become rampant.
Does God punish abusers and sinners?
God is in all of us, within us, in our hearts and soul. Some are conscious and, therefore, can close their eyes and experience God; some are ignorant and refuse God’s existence. But refusing the existence of God would not enable one to give birth to a child with the same fingerprint as the ignorant. By refusing the existence of God, one can not give birth to a child with ten hands, or one can not become 10 ft tall. The fact that we all are similar and still so different, still individuals, proves that a superpower governs the principles of the universe and humanity.
If God is part of us, inside us, and is all-powerful, then would God ever pardon anyone denying and ignoring his world design? If God had created the universe without any boundaries, we all would have been the same, physically connected; every animal, plant, human would have been one giant connected body. But God wants everything to be separate, the mountains, the planes, the trees, the ocean, the raindrops, the breeze, the sunlight, the moonlight, and me and you.
Not accepting the individuality of anyone and breaching the boundaries of others is therefore refusing to accept the authority of God and trying to act like God. When you breach the constitution and social laws, you are punished by the authority, the same way when someone neglects or refuses the authority of God, he/she is punished. There is a delay, but karma eventually catches up with everyone.
If God anyways will punish the sinners, why worry about protecting ourselves?
Accepting and suffering abuse is as much of a sin as conducting an abuse
Because God is in all of us, letting anyone abuse us is letting anyone abuse the God in us. Recall how we now know that abusers are ignorant about God and deny the existence of God. But you are not. You accept that there exists a God, an inner self, an inner power, a superpower, a power that creates, protects, governs, and drives you. You accept that you are just a physical representation of that power. Therefore it becomes your duty and responsibility to ensure that the God in you is not abused and is respected.
