I. If pain is so good then how come everyone pursues to get rid of pain?
If we are to accept that pain is good, then acceptance of the pain must be natural to human beings, isn’t it? If pain was really good, then everyone would have loved pain and would never try to avoid pain, isn’t it? For example, hunger is normal and no one complains about hunger. So, if pain was normal, why would anyone complain about it in the first place?
Interestingly, hunger is also a pain. When you are hungry, your body has low energy. The body and the brain complain. You then accept this complaint and pain and acknowledge it. Childbirth is also painful, but mothers accept and acknowledge it because without this mothers can not give birth. So, we accept and acknowledge our pain when we know that there is a benefit associated with it.
Exercising is also painful. When you do weight training or do cardio like running, all the muscles lose quick energy and body pains. But you accept and acknowledge the pain because it will make you healthy.
When you go to work and work for 12 hours away from your family and children, that separation is a pain, traveling to work, and working for 12 hours daily is a pain. But you accept and acknowledge the pain, because there will be a salary at the end of the month.
A breakup appears painful because you feel rejected and there appear to be no positive gains in accepting this pain. So you try too hard to hold onto the relationships. If there is a breakup, it means that the relationship itself was painful. So you got relieved from investing in something that was causing pain and had no particular future prospect. Because if the future of the relationship was bright, both of you would have accepted the pain of being together and there wouldn’t be a breakup in the first place. So, not accepting the pain of the relationship led to the pain of the breakup. Not accepting the breakup then will again pull you back into the pain of the relationship, and you will remain stuck in life.
When you accept that the breakup is your opportunity to set free and explore a better future and not necessarily a rejection of you, then you will accept and acknowledge the breakup, and thus, even though there is pain, it will not concern you.
We don’t suffer because of the pain itself, we suffer because of unacceptance of the pain and not acknowledging the pain;