Table of Contents
Context
Don’t we often hear that “friends are forever?” “Friendship is the most powerful social relationship”, or quotes and cliches such as “friendship is the most selfless relationship”. If such quotes and cliches are true, then why should anyone complain about friendship? Isn’t not having a friend in childhood itself is the first sign of an anti-social personality early traits in a child? And if that is also true, then why even a post which calls friendship toxic?
Analogies
- Drinking water is good for health. But does that mean that jumping into a pond and keep drinking water is good for the health or life of the drowning one?
- Greenery is important for the planet Earth and plants give us Oxygen which is needed for life. But does that mean that creepers and invasive plants are also beneficial? Some of the creepers can kill a large plant of over 100 years in no time by denying it nutrition.
In the exact same way, nothing is black and white in life, and nothing is either an absolute hero or an absolute villain. Just like drinking water for a drowning man may accelerate his death, the same way, diluting the definition, meaning, and notion of a social relationship and using it in abundance may become dangerous for life situations.
This post will therefore try to educate you on why the excessive use of the word friendship to define a relationship where friendship can not be applied. And nowadays we use friendship almost with toxic dilution.
Let us start with love, and then friendship definitions.
Love
1. There are three kinds of love: agape, eros, and philia according to Greek philosophy.
2. agape is creating value for the object of desire. The mother’s care for her son is agape.
3. Eros is a strong passionate desire for an object(sexual in nature).
4. Philia is an affectionate asexual regard for an object.
Aristotelian Friendship
1. So, friendship is an extension of Philias.
2. Aristotle first defined friendship around 350 BCE, while in Plato’s school, when he realized that he loves other students, spends a lot of time with them, and yet had no sexual desire.
3. People have asexual philia love for an object for either: Pleasure, Benefit, or Virtue, and that affection is called friendship.
Pleasure
1. You and your drinking friend together have fun with Signature. Your friend gets a lottery and starts drinking 100-yo scotch. Cheers, loneliness🍺!
Benefit
You and your “friend” share a room. You both benefit financially. You are friends. Another guy offers 90% of the rent. Guess who will be your friend?
Virtue
1. Virtue= Power+Wisdom
2. Power without wisdom is Tyranny(dictators)
3. Wisdom without Power is a death sentence:- like Rajiv Dixit. (Linkedin expert syndrome, Guruji Syndrome).
4. Wisdom is life’s failure+knowledge+intellect
5. Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos were powerful and knowledgeable, but after their respective divorces, they have become wise.
Therefore, virtue is the only form of friendship.
💡”Only and Only Two Virtuous Men Can be Friends(Yes gender bias)”
1. Both men learn from each other, respect others for their skills and increase their knowledge.
So, Elon Musk, Jaishankar, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Dhoni, could be friends that would last a lifetime.
Sambit Pot and Prince Gandhi can be friends with benefits, which would make them feel more intelligent in each other’s company.
Examples of Silly Use of “Friendship”
1. Husband and wife are best friends.
(Biological Law: A wise woman can’t be a mother, and a mother can’t be wise. Mothers love their children passionately or logically? The brain doesn’t work in 2 ways)
2. College Friends
(0 power, studying with father’s money, 0 wisdom, book facts and no knowledge)
3. When the daughter grows up she becomes a friend of the mother.
(oh yea? (Agpe+Eros)<-Friend->(Agpe+Eros)? Good luck as your daughter will not be able to conceive🫡).
4. Father and Son are best friends🙄
(Son has no power, there is no pleasure, no mutual benefits)
The height of the friendship misuse
5. Girl telling “Let’s be good friends”
(an eros+agpe persona telling ‘don’t desire me sexually; brain works only one way; so she perceives I am sexually undesirable; good luck with vicious venom of a girl 🐍whom you make to feel undesirable)
If Friendship is Toxic, Then Why it is Promoted?
One single aim “dilute the definitions, to twist them for benefit!”
Your father may not be as powerful as Bill Gates, but he will always be wiser than you because he has survived more kicks of life in his balls than you can even imagine. So he can be your teacher, not your friend.
A girl tells you to “let’s be friends”, because she doesn’t want to hurt you, and may want you in her life because losing is hard, not because she needs you as a friend. She needs a child to care for. Recognize this and walk out.
A mother can be a friend only if there is a mutual benefit. By calling a mother a friend, you downgrade her as a “benefit seeker,” completely destroying the fundamental of a mother of “unconditional love to the child.”
When you call your son your friend, you lift him to your level, without him having to take whips of life on skin. His stress-handling ends.
Call colleagues, what they are, that is colleagues.
Colleagues-> Colleagues
Father-> Father
Mother->Mother
Son->Son
Daughter->Daughter
Another College Student-> Confederate
Girl you love-> My girl
Boy you love-> My graduating man
Don’t use, and let others use the word friend if you want to live a manipulation-free life. A boy has to become virtuous and a girl loving and caring, nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.
Why can’t females be friends? Are they not wise or Virtuous?
A lady who has delivered a baby, and has helped others deliver a baby is far wiser than a new Gynecologist. Because the lady has seen all the challenges over the years.
Once someone has been taught by life, that teaching is a reference point. Decisions are taken by the brain only from the reference point.
Logically we all know 90/100 startups fail. If anyone starts analyzing logically, no new startup will be born. So birth would require hormonal overload over logic and wisdom. Nothing can be given birth from wisdom. You can not repeat a success formula that worked in the past over and over again.
However, once the startup is born, you can not make it survive with feelings. One has to apply all the learning of life into it, and be ready to be taught by life if the company has to survive.
The exact way, thinking logically, no woman can conceive. But once conceive, no woman can deliver without the support of wise people, who will guide them through experience, nothing but learning, nothing but rationality.
Basic science
Creation needs Chaos, and survival needs knowledge and wisdom.
So, when we say that females can be friends, we eliminate their
Conclusion
An unwise powerless guy is given an illusion of being a friend, for as long as he can give, for what he can give, and till the last drop of blood, he gives. No girlfriend, college, office, party, parent friends.
Become virtuous, not friendly.
