Table of Contents
1) The Team: 🤒
95% of the jokers here have no tech background, have never written a single line of code, never opened a machine, and can’t solve a quadratic. 95% have no GitHub repos.
2) The Enablers:🤑
The PMPs with an additional “I”, who claims to be a matchmaker. One who has never written technology created a business, and yet they thrive on the innocent founder’s helplessness. Why work when you can make 10% of the money from deals?
3) The Incubators:🏥
When technology grows, many other technologists automatically plug and play their solutions with it, making it robust. It becomes a Hub and Spoke model. Ex: Google Play is an incubator(Called a platform). You can use the services and APIs and build your own solution. EX: JSFiddle, Git, WordPress, and Arduino
One, whose own children are incubated by a housemaid and parents, runs incubators. Because growing a baby is hard work.
4) The Vulvular Capitalist🏦
A Capitasist is one who creates wealth and then identifies opportunities with the wealth to create more wealth. Like Tatas. A Capitalist is not one who sits on top of an unsuspecting hardworking soon-to-retire teacher’s pension fund and robs 3% of it every year, and 30% total in 10 years, without any return.
When you can rob 1/3rd of someone’s 30 years of earnings in 10 years by doing nothing but PMP, obviously you will feel special.
Britishers too felt powerful by squeezing 30% tax of Indian farmers for 200 years.
5) The Mentors🤣
(I can write a book on these jokers)
A mentor is the greatest in his field where a new talent interns for 7 years in the workshop, where mentors take care of the food. Ex: Verrocchio of Vincci, Ramgopal Verma for Anurag Kashyap, Humphry Davy for Micheal Faraday.
But we have salaried mentors🤣.
6) Marketers 🙄
The technology business is to be marketed through Tech. Only the brain that is solving a problem can tell the story. People listen to Tendulkar’s interview on cricket, and not Manjerkar’s interview on Tendulkar.
Bill Gates, Elon Musk, and Paul Graham are marketers, but no, Akash Chopra markets cricket better than Kapil!
7) The Accelerators😶
Shameless clones of Ycombinator, who couldn’t innovate their questionnaire, but will accelerate. In Howrah, Koltaka there was a Pickpocket school. They taught how to blade a hankie placed over orange, without splashing juice. It led to the “underwear with pockets” innovation. the Cohorts scaled for 200 years.
8) The Deckers🧣
It takes only 2 minutes for a seasoned techie to know how hard tech is to replicate, and how big a problem it is solving.
A techie doesn’t read the manual. You invest in GitHub because you know its power, not because you read its deck or manual.
9) The Alert Sentences
Only actors and the plot can not entertain the audience, we also need great dialogue. The way Sholey movie was made popular by “Kitne Aadmi they re Samba,” the same way, following sentences keep entertaining the startup world.
i) “Send me your latest deck.” (Means send me the user manual and terms and conditions before I press I agree before using the software).
ii) “Networking opportunity:” Tech is a reality, an integrator. Tech networks itself through APIs and technology are scaled by the tech community. The tech community is virtual.
iii) “I am looking for a Tech Cofounder.” Google needed no marketer, but even Ola needs technology. Cam Scanner had 10M users, without any marketer.
iv) “We will connect you with investors.” When you take PMP with extra I’s service to find a body for pleasure, that pleasure will always have “Herpes attached to it.” Be ready for the bruises.
v) “Pitching Event”: Tech needs to pitch or needs to work?
vi) “Meet other smart minds”: Smart minds are introverts, they don’t attend events. The crowd threatens them. Smart brains find other smart brains, don’t meet them.
vii) 1000x, 10x 50x or whatever X:- Anything in the world has a normal Gaussian distribution by the law of quantum energy that holds things.
thumb-rule of surviving this circus:
10) Conclusion
The startup is just a human casino of low lives of lazy brains, copycats, talkers, PMPs with an extra I, and Steve Jobs wannabes who rode on Woz’s shoulder to award Anu Malick as the best musician because the greatest steals!!
Keep entertaining.
Search for Git, Youtube Channel, Blog, Stack Overflow, and Google Scholar.
Reader’s comments
Points 1-8 are all true experienced many times by me. We develop new molecules and new techs for existing molecules. Add following Points:
9) The Forwarders/R&D Headers
They somehow achieved position by fault, as they belong to ‘Chaturs’ of 3Idiot fame. But fear if they promote you or your tech where they will stand – Out from the job. And will never take you to the right conclusion.
10) The Funding Div. of companies
They feel if implemented what will happen to existing investments, people, markets even if the totality is profitable for all these. So they will try discouraging you on what you have done or would say – the product does exist at all.
And one can keep adding.
