How To Become a Social Media Influencer: Simple Step-by-Step Guide for Aspirants

Step 1 Theory: What is the Psychological Trait of a Social Media Influencer?

You can skip this section because an influencer must always skip working hard!

No one has any control over their own life, and even the belief that you can influence the lives of millions(oops billions) needs a high-end smoke which is not yet invented. So you have to become a visionary and envision such a grand possibility. Grandiosity is the hallmark of narcissism.

Step 2 Understanding Target Audience

You must skip this section too, as when you will have billions and trillions and quadrillions number of followers, why would you need to know them anyways?

It is estimated that 90% of the population is stupid now. A stupid is a fool, who looks for another fool to fool and feel intelligent. (For more details read startup funding). Remember people like to follow those who are like them.

Step 3: How to Become an Influencer

You must not read this section but rather glance quickly. Because inability and lack of interest in deep reading is a hallmarks of an influencer.

i) Selfie

You have to first spend at least 5 hours and select at least a 10-year-old selfie.
A narcissist loves her/his own photo. An influencer is youthful and sorted. So a good old selfie is a must.
(Bonus tips: A pic in a foreign land, a selfie with a celebrity, or any identity that gives you a sense of greatness and grandiosity is better. See my selfie. What do you see? Me? or “Intel”?)

ii) Proof of Eligibility of Being an Influencer

a)You are kind(empathy is a better deal).
b) You are intelligent.
c) You are not part of the crowd.
d) You have something that the crowd wants but don’t have.
e) You are a leader.

Other qualities that you may fakely want to prove are:

• Being a winner.
• Being an Expert.
• One who knows it all.
• One whose life is sorted.
• One who is rich(filthy rich)
• One who also worked 10-5 for a mundane salary and now earns 6 figures.
• You have multiple cars, bungalows, and yachts.
• Work is a holiday for you.

And there are so many more things you can prove, or try to prove. There is no end to a fairytale and being seen as top of the world you know!

iii) Attractive Headline

You have to learn to write an attractive headline. That’s because stupids, your potential and true followers only read keywords and headlines to feel intelligent.

The headlines can be:

a) Moral preaching and Virtue signaling: As stupids have no virtue, you need not worry about it. Just search for any quote like “Leaders are Empathetic”
“Hard work is the secret of success”.
(Inspiration, hope, etc are good)

b) Top 5-10 list: People always want to know the top(that’s why men are not people, they search for the bottom, sad!)
Example: Top 5 Dressing Tips for Successful business meeting

c) Feeling-based opinions:
Ex: “Fathers are the best friend”
(See? You equated yourself with your father, as friends are equal. That’s how you have to show your narcissism. Important: Father’s photo is not needed if he is not photogenic, else needed)

d) Autowalah Post

1) In order to become an influencer you have to first travel in an auto(as if influencers travel in Mercedes anyways!)
2) You then have to take a selfie with the Autowalah.
3) Then you have to search the internet for an “honest autowalah story”.
4) Then you have to write content as “how you met an auto wallah who is also doing MBBS in part-time and wants to help humanity by turning his auto into an Autobulance” or something like that.
5) Other story patterns are:

Autowalah returning your wallet. You can also download a wallet with 10,000/- pics from the internet and put that picture with the post along with a selfie.

iv) Content

Content is a simple and easy general bunch of sentences that should:

a) Make a stupid feel that she/he is reading and learning.
b) Must blow the trumpet of your (iii).
c) Must be junk.

If the above three don’t make you understand what content means, then you can also consider writing something that has:

1. No meaning.
2. Which has no conclusion.
3. This makes people feel jealous of you(envious in reality, but since when does an influencer care for a definition anyways).
4. Something that you can’t remember after writing after 10 seconds.
5. A copied plagiarized text from some other internet posts and articles.
6. Using the words like “Science” to promote your stupid statements. Stupids do love science.

There is so much to “write” or copy as content.

How to Write Content with an Example

Heading: “top 5 business dressing tips”

1) Wear underwear




2) Wear banian(or any top you prefer, but top is must).


3) Wear a clean dress.



4) Wear polished shoes.



5) Wear a smile.

Also, give a bonus. Public like free, and bonuses.

Bonus: Don’t wear underwear over pants, Marvel aint gonna pay ya.

(Please give good gaps. It makes the post look biiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggg, and easy to read. People aspire big and easy things!)

Investments In Becoming an Influencer

In order to become an influencer, you will also have to invest.
1) Buy good books and buy a good rack to organize the books.
2) You can occasionally post a picture of your rack.
3) You must not read books. You must go to youtube and see a 1-minute summary of the book and then can write content.
4) If you want a better personal brand, you can’t write so much. You must pay money and hire those who can write a lot of posts like the one in the example.
5) Alternatively you can also pay money and learn AI tools and let AI do the job of posting on behalf of you.
6) You have to also invest on good mobile because a good selfie is the gateway.
7) You have to also invest money to visit conferences. Remember an influencer must be seen as intelligent, and what best way to prove your intelligence than by paying ₹20,000 for a buffet?

8) As you will not have much money to visit even Dharabi at the beginning, but you must show that you live in Los Angeles, you will also need money to hire digital Photoshop or Canva professionals to fake your photos.

Conclusion

Write daily. One can keep quiet, and let others assume stupidity or open their mouth(see top?) and remove doubts. Influencers do always clear doubts and help people. All the best.

This was my free class. You can get more such tips, tricks, and guaranteed results by attending my masterclass on how to become an influencer. Leave your email ids in the comment to secure a seat in my masterclass. Seats are limited, kicks are unlimited.

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