How do people judge you for words and actions and how the pointed fingers resulting from blame and judgment may harm your psychology and overall well-being?
Table of Contents
The Story
You see a salesman, “aah, look he did not study well, look, now he is selling books. Poor fella” You see a rich guy getting out of BMW, “God knows how much people’s money he has eaten to get that car. ” You see someone running in the morning walk “Showing off, how many days you can run? ” A man walking slowly “If you walk so slowly, you will never lose weight” Someone in a government job, “what a waste of life” Someone in private job, “what security he has”?
Explanation
Married, single, happy, unhappy, poor, rich, doctor, engineer, healthy, sick, male, female, beard, no beard, short hair, long hair, educated, uneducated, doesn’t matter. The first thing you do when you see someone, a stranger is judge the person.
Ego
The ego is a biological function to help protect our image(not identity). As we grow up, we build several personalities in us to calibrate with different social situations and among different peer groups. We are different for our parents, partners, romantic partner, children, friends. There is a belief system that holds these personalities together. This belief system is a rigid set of beliefs and rules that bind your personas and help you explain who you are. For example, if you are a professional doctor, that becomes your ego and you define everything from the lens of that ego.
Judgemental Ego
Because the ego is essentially an awareness of the conscious brain to help protect your image, which is core to your survival when it sees anyone better than you, it has to convince you that, even though the person is better, you are well off than that person and he has several underneath problems that you do not have, just being not as good as the reference person.
When you see someone lower than you in the perceived status, your brain feels threatened, because those who have it less than the others, generally chase the resources. So all of them may take away what you have.
Therefore your ego wants to warn you against such people.
When you see someone exactly similar to you, the ego gets validation for the image, and it gets stronger.
Why Ego Gets Developed?
You develop ego when you become less and less confident of your existence, and your identity. The identity is your self-awareness, which explains to you that you are unique, and so are each and every person ever born in the world.
Your identity is your reality. It stops you from perceiving perception and convinces you that you are good, even with all the insecurities, drawbacks, and limitations you have, and so the others.
When you start putting too much focus on others’ views, opinions, judgment, you start getting hypervigilant of the situations. You always feel being under consistent pressure. It becomes a survival threat. Then your brain develops the ego to help you survive against this potential threat.
Why did you develop a Judgemental Ego?
Just to feel good about yourself. Because deep within you know that you are not the person you wanted to be. You have such low self-esteem, that you can not accept your own identity without judging others. You know your inefficiencies, your limitations, your drawbacks. You know very well that you are not as good as people expected and thought. Because you are yourself being judged all the time, parents, in particular, your core confidence in yourself is low.
By mentally telling yourself that the other person is less than you, you value up yourself.
Preventive Pill
Become self-aware and just observe what comes to your mind immediately when you see another person? Judgment.
Next time when you judge others, know it for a fact that you are destroying your own self-worth. Your value will depend purely on your ego.
Become aware that you are becoming envious of others’ successes and happiness. Become aware that you are afraid of losing what you have from others whom you perceive as superior to you. Become aware that this insecurity is making you hateful of that person and building judgment ego in you.
Because of this judgment ego, you keep hating people who are not like you. In reality, no one is like you. So, eventually, you start hating almost everyone. Eventually, when you are rejected and refused by everyone, you start judging yourself, as you have no one else to judge. You feel lonely, you feel being dumped by people you care about.
Finally, you convince yourself that this condition also is due to others or particular situations. You take yourself way away from the responsibilities and finally get drawn into the negativity of your toxic ego that you have built.
Book Your Lyfas Assessment and Consulting
If you are suffering your constant judgment from the others and feeling threatened, or if you at least have the awareness that you are ending up comparing yourself with others all the time, the book your Lyfas assessment today, to understand the root of the same, the effect on your physiology, psychology and pathology and to take the appropriate measures.
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