Table of Contents
A. Wisdom
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality”
-Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor.
“We suffer not due to unexpected events, we suffer due to not accepting an event”
Rupam Das
B. Practical Excercise
Take up the thread that is troubling you the most at this moment.
Examples:
i) Partner and you are fighting all the time, and fighting never seems to end.
ii) Partner has left you.
iii) You are going through a divorce.
iv) You have lost your job.
v) You are not getting as many projects as you used to.
vi) Boss is appearing too toxic to handle and going to the office has become a hard task.
vii) You are not able to cope with people, their expectations, and opinions.
Anything that is bothering you for some time, write it and think about it. Now get aware of the patterns your brain is creating.
i) It is unacceptable.
ii) I have done so much, the other person doesn’t understand replicate.
iii) One day I will show how worthy I am.
iv) I don’t know how to come out of this.
v) I want to see how that company will survive without me.
vi) Huh, one day I will take revenge for sure.
vii) Once I get a great job, my girlfriend will come back.
And you will experience a wave of negative feelings is rushing through your body, and negative memories are flashing one after the other. You are going into chain of thoughts, and your brain is imagining all sorts of solutions.
C. Take Action(Accept Acknowledge Optimism AAO-Lyfas Therapeutics LYTH-AAO-02)
Now that you understood that the patterns are inside you, and no one but you have control over them, make the change. Just change the way you feel and talk about the statement.
(Current Situation) I have lost my job, (Problem) How can I support my family? (feeling)I am feeling so worried(the opportunity-however)however, it is also a good opportunity for me to start from basics(worst-case acceptance) even if don’t get a job, at least I will learn so much about the job market.
D. Explanation
1. You are narrating the situation as is, without any imagination.
2. You are narrating the real problem.
3. You are accepting your true feelings.
4. You are giving a future direction to the brain.
5. You are taking away the fear of failure from the brain. It is okay even if you fail the way you are planning, still, that will have some positives.
E. Redo the Exercise
Now practice this with several different threads. What you will observe is that you are not going into endless negativity and a chain of thoughts. Your imagination ended, and you are much more relaxed now.
F. Conclusion
One change a day, for life, bit by bit, brick by brick, we get better.
(Now write this post’s summary in your growth diary). ->Remember writing habits? The brain doesn’t work in two different ways.
Cherish the current moment. Life is beautiful even in hunger and footpath.
F. Real Insights from the Readers
Recently I suggested to someone a simple method of sitting still for blocks of 2 to 5 minutes, eyes closed (so that there is no visual input) with a timer. Simply watch the trail of thoughts. The analogy I gave was to sit like a small kid in front of a house and just notice/count the number of vehicles passing by. the only condition is – don’t miss any vehicle passing by. Watch like a disinterested boy. Some good feedback from that exercise.
Shrinivas Kulkarni
The mind/Brain tries to get rid of thoughts that are negative and rotating in the head – repeatedly bringing them “up”. But the other side of the mind/brain – suppresses them and engages in an unproductive dialogue “Why I am getting these thoughts? Why I am so… bad or useless” etc. Then those thoughts continue to circle around waiting for the next opportunity to “go out”. We can think of them like a “booth/spirit” captured in a bottle – trying to go out. We do not let that guy out.
We need to “consume” the negative thoughts so that we let them go.
It’s not uncommon to feel a wave of negative feelings and have negative memories resurface during difficult times. During such moments, it can be helpful to remember that these emotions and memories are temporary as nothing is permenant and taking some time to calm your mind and practice self-care can provide space for emotional regulation.
Rahul Dhar
Meditate or engage in activities that bring you joy and help distract your mind temporarily. Connecting with trusted friends, family, or professionals who can provide support and guidance can also be beneficial.
Patience is keep and must go with a flow rather than resisting the change !
Journal every day to get rid of negative emotions
Vinayak Ekbote Senior SAP MM/WM consultant
