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Never Fail Again: Give People These 7 Fascinating Fundamentals They Badly Want And Are Never Tired Of

Never Fail Again: Give People These 7 Fascinating Fundamentals They Badly Want And Are Never Tired Of November 17, 2022November 17, 2022 | Rupam Das

What is Failure?

When you set a goal and achieve it, it is called winning or victory. If you do not achieve the goal, then that is called defeat or losing. Success is called a success if you don’t become anxious during and after the goal, either after winning or losing. Failure is called failure if you become anxious while pursuing your goal or after the journey has ended(either in win or defeat).

So, you heard it right, what people commonly refer to as success(that is, achieving a goal) is merely a victory, not a success. When someone does not achieve the target goal, defeat is not failure. So, people mostly mislead you with the definition of success and failure.

Once you complete the post, please read the following article to understand the science behind success.

What is Meant By Success? The Scientific Explanation of Success

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is not certain about the present or the future and living in apprehension and worry. Biologically anxiety is the palpitation of the heart caused by uncertainty. 

For example, you love someone but do not know whether the person you love also loves you. You are not sure if you should convey your feelings or not. Are you worried that the other person will reject you after you convey your feelings? (Example 1)

So, the above scenario is uncertain. Your heart is pounding increases, and you remain anxious.

Anxiety and Victory.

All the major organs of our body are connected with a nervous system called the autonomic nervous system. The brain is the major organ of this nervous system, followed by the heart. So, if the heart is stable, the brain is stable, and vice versa. In anxiety, our heart palpates more, so the brain can not become stable.

Obviously, in any aspect of life, whether it is a job, sports, or studies, the stability of the brain determines our ability to win. Isn’t it? Because if the brain can not think properly, then how can it drive our body? And so, if we are anxious, the chances of our accident increase as we will not be able to focus on driving but rather will be thinking all the time in the back of our brain. So, because heart-brain stability decides the body’s stability, and the body’s stability determines our victory, success is nothing but 1/Anxiety.

Success ∝ 1/Anxiety
or,
Failure ∝ Anxiety

Also, anxiety leads to nervous system disorders, which is the starting point of most chronic diseases, including mood and sleep disorders. So, victory can not be called a success if you have anxiety because then you have illness in victory, which presents a threat to life, and therefore by definition, that victory is not helping in life.

What is meant by avoiding failure?

From the above equation, it is clear that avoiding failure means avoiding anxiety. We already know that avoiding anxiety means avoiding anything that is unpredictable.

What is the biggest unpredictability?

Obviously, biggest unpredictability human nature, isn’t it?

Therefore, if we could somehow make human behavior predictable, then most of the unpredictabilities would be gone, and we will worry less(for example, if we become more certain about the behavior in our example 1). If we worry less, we will not be restrained by a chain of negative thoughts. We will reduce our anxiety and, therefore, the chances of failure.

Remember. Success brings victory, victory doesn’t bring success;
similarly, losses may easily lead to success, and often eventually does, if you are not anxious and worried about the losses;

<strong>Rate the learning</strong>

We remain uncertain about people because we fail to figure out what people really want, don’t we?

Of course, different people have different motivations, ambitions, goals, likings, and dislikes. But we all are born a child and then grow. Don’t we? So there is a child in all of us. And These children do not die even when they grow into adults because the brain has to remember all the good and bad things right from childhood to predict any upcoming threats.

Hence irrespective of who the person is, what their age is, and what their financial status is, there are some principle fundamentals each one of us wants, and they are so subtle that we are often unaware of our desire for them and weakness for them.

Now that you have understood what is the theory behind knowing what people want, jump straight to the next page to discover what people really want.

The seven things everyone wants and can never become tired of

1. Attention:- we live in the most attention-deficit world. After a child grows up getting the utmost attention of the parents, the rest of the world looks inattentive. People want to get heard and get attention. When you give someone high-quality attention, they feel important. Important people are always taken care of by others. This is why they love you for your attention.

2. Admiration:- Most people are often condemned and complain about what they have not achieved and what they are not. So they seek admiration from others. Admiration makes people feel superior. Superior people have less threat. Therefore, they become more comfortable with you.

3. Acceptance:- Change is hard. Everyone wants to be accepted the way they are. If people are accepted even with their limitations and shortcomings, then they feel less vulnerable to such shortcomings. It makes them feel more comfortable. When you make someone feel comfortable, they become good to you.

4. Control:- People want to control your mind, your thought, your decisions, desires, and even reality. So if you let people control a part of your life, social life, finance, or even a pen, then they feel powerful. Powerful people are addicted to power. So they do not want to let you go because they do not let their power subsidize.

5. Emotions:- Today, feeling true emotions is a challenge. People want emotions from you. They want you to make them laugh/cry. We often mistake emotions for feelings. Feelings are how we feel now, whereas emotions are an entire life’s story with different feelings, remembered by us as experiences. When you listen to the life story of others, they feel connected to their lives and thus experience the emotion. Because today everyone wants to talk and reply, and few are ready to listen, emotion becomes a rare virtue.

6. Resources:- Time and money are the two biggest resources everyone seeks. The next resource is knowledge. Because knowledge gives growth, in the modern days, people don’t have real knowledge, and most only share and seek information. Information is short-lived and often does not result in our growth. Also, on the money front, the economy is controlled by only 5% of the world’s top powerful people. 95% of the rest of the population has to rigor through their life to earn some money for a modest living. Therefore everyone around you is looking for money and has little time. If you can acquire real knowledge and give time to people to teach them that knowledge, rather than preaching to people, then they will love you because it helps them to grow, earn a better living, and save more time.

7. Validation:- Everyone needs someone to validate their thought, beliefs, feelings(though few accepts it). We live in a society, and standing away from the crowd threatens us for being marked. When we stand away from the crowd, we feel more threatened. Therefore we always seek people who are like us and believe in our worldview. Agreeing with people on key worldviews makes them love you because they know that you are more like them.

<strong>Rate the 7-desires of people</strong>

Is there any downside to keep giving? Read on the next page.

Why do people hate you even when you give them what they desire?

Soon, the seven things become addictive to people, and they keep demanding more. Initially, people desire you to give them what they want, as very few can give them this in the first place. However, all of the above requires tremendous energy and effort. Soon, you start feeling exhausted. The more you give, the more people demand. As your energy is not unlimited, you slowly fail to give these in quality.

Furthermore, the 7-desire is an investment for influencing and getting attention from people. Because this package of desire is also addictive, everyone wants more when you give them more. It is like drugs. If one withdraws from the drug, then one feels withdrawal symptoms. Drug withdrawal symptoms are aggressive and hateful.

So, when you build relationships, you need to establish the energy you want from them. Relationships are always transactional. Some of the transactions include economic transactions, but every relationship also involves energy transactions. When people start liking you after you give them the 7-desires of theirs, you need to quickly establish the transactions and set your expectations right too.

If you continue giving what people desire without getting what you want in return, you may soon become aggressive and frustrated. Always be wary of this fact.

Conclusion

All of the above are intangible resources. Intangible means something that can be emotionally experienced but cannot be quantitatively measured, like money. So, people often can not calculate(or rather prefer not to) your contributions and what you give.

It is often simple and easy for a brain to measure what it has contributed. It is equally hard for most to measure what you have given. So, when you influence people by giving what they desire, you have to consider this downside too. Often the success gurus and those who preach to you about self-development will only tell the glittering and glorious part of the story. Become aware that there is nothing in this world that is unidirectional, selfless, and infinite; you must learn to understand relationships’ transactional aspects.

Also, remember, when we say what people desire, you are also part of those who need these seven intangible resources. So, when you want to give people what they want, you must not exclude yourself from that list.

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Lyfas Life Care (February 3, 2025) Rupam Das, Never Fail Again: Give People These 7 Fascinating Fundamentals They Badly Want And Are Never Tired Of. Retrieved from https://lyfas.com/psychology-and-psychiatry/never-fail-again-give-people-these-7-fascinating-fundamentals-they-badly-want-and-are-never-tired-of/rupam_lyfas/.
Rupam Das,"Never Fail Again: Give People These 7 Fascinating Fundamentals They Badly Want And Are Never Tired Of." Lyfas Life Care - February 3, 2025, https://lyfas.com/psychology-and-psychiatry/never-fail-again-give-people-these-7-fascinating-fundamentals-they-badly-want-and-are-never-tired-of/rupam_lyfas/
Lyfas Life Care November 17, 2022 Rupam Das, Never Fail Again: Give People These 7 Fascinating Fundamentals They Badly Want And Are Never Tired Of., viewed February 3, 2025,<https://lyfas.com/psychology-and-psychiatry/never-fail-again-give-people-these-7-fascinating-fundamentals-they-badly-want-and-are-never-tired-of/rupam_lyfas/>
Lyfas Life Care - Rupam Das,Never Fail Again: Give People These 7 Fascinating Fundamentals They Badly Want And Are Never Tired Of. [Internet]. [Accessed February 3, 2025]. Available from: https://lyfas.com/psychology-and-psychiatry/never-fail-again-give-people-these-7-fascinating-fundamentals-they-badly-want-and-are-never-tired-of/rupam_lyfas/
Rupam Das,"Never Fail Again: Give People These 7 Fascinating Fundamentals They Badly Want And Are Never Tired Of." Lyfas Life Care - Accessed February 3, 2025. https://lyfas.com/psychology-and-psychiatry/never-fail-again-give-people-these-7-fascinating-fundamentals-they-badly-want-and-are-never-tired-of/rupam_lyfas/
Rupam Das,"Never Fail Again: Give People These 7 Fascinating Fundamentals They Badly Want And Are Never Tired Of." Lyfas Life Care [Online]. Available: https://lyfas.com/psychology-and-psychiatry/never-fail-again-give-people-these-7-fascinating-fundamentals-they-badly-want-and-are-never-tired-of/rupam_lyfas/. [Accessed: February 3, 2025]

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