Table of Contents
A. Deal
If your family’s health, wealth, earnings, and happiness don’t improve in 30 days, you criticize me in the public domain, with your findings and observations, and I stop talking on the subject of family(your golden chance)
If you do see the improvement, you give us ratings on Google’s Acculi page and follow us on Lyfas.com. Deal?
B. Key Reason for Detoriating Family Health and Prosperity
Following are the tale-tale signs of decreasing family health, peace, and prosperity:
- Increasing conflicts, arguments, and heated exchanges.
- Reduced communication between the partners, and between the couple and their children.
- Increased screen time.
- Taking dinner at different times.
- Cranky and aggressive children.
- Increasing debt on the family.
- Increased hospital and medical bills.
- Decreased academic performance of the children.
- Stress on the professional life, lack of promotion or growth.
- Loss of sexual relationship between the couple.
One of the key reasons for such traits in the family is “lack of healing.”
Healing refers to the body’s ability to recover from overwork and stress. One of the key reasons why families evolved was to provide healing to the bread-earner of the family. If the bread-earners do not recover well at the end of the day, then they feel irritated and lack of freshness and motivation in the work.
C. The Law of Private Evening
“The Day is for the world, and the Evening is for the family”
This law is consistent across the animal kingdom(other than nocturnals).
a) Examples from the animal kingdom of how the evening is for the family
1. Birds return back to their nests in the evening.
2. Lions go back to their pride.
3. Our ancestors found caves and went to their caves in the evening.
4. If you have a fish tank, try to keep some poured stones. You will see fishes will select their “home” and will remain inside the “stone cave homes” once night sets in.
5. Bees, crickets, insects, and other small animals will go back to their respective leaves.
6. Even if you leave cows for grazing, before evening they will come back to their “home.”
b) Circadian Genomic
Over the last 500 million years our genes have developed this unique clock called the circadian clock with which all the body’s metabolic and other electrochemical processes are linked. Nights are for recovery, healing, cleaning metabolic waste, and so on.
c) Stress, body’s stress handling is low in the evening, with low cortisol.
d) Men’s testosterone is lowest at around 7 PM in their diurnal cycle.
on the other hand,
e) Estrogen falls earlier before sunset at around 4 PM and increases from 7 PM.
D. Need for Healing
1. A man can squeeze his blood and serve the nation, and society, bringing food for family, and society, but he needs healing in the evening.
2. A woman needs warmth in the evening.
3. When the family spend time together women’s body heat increase, men’s body heat decrease and this transfer relieves the fear of children.
4. So children become more playful, which further heals everyone.
5. If you don’t yet have a family, or even do not have a family anymore, your body and brain still need healing. So giving time to hobbies, painting, art, and reading does that.
E. Enforce this Rule of “Private Evening”
1. Do not call anyone after 7 PM.
2. Do not receive calls after 7 PM.
3. (Emergencies are rare, so when such a call comes, you know its an emergency)
4. Eliminate noises, of TV, mobile, and loud music in the evening.
5. Force yourself to not look into WhatsApp or social media.
6. Take a walk together, talk, sing, and draw, take rest, cook, teach, share stories.
(No gadget, no external world. It is your life, your family, and that’s your priority)
F. What are the key challenges you will face when you try to implement the “Private Family Evening” rule?
The problems and challenges you will face:
1) At first it will be hard to not look at the phone and notification time and again. That’s okay. Remain aware that you will face the problem, and try not to work too hard, but rather to have other activities to keep you busy.
2) Relatives will guilt-trip you. Aha, you have become American? Don’t worry neither they will pay for the hospital, nor will they get admitted on behalf of you, nor will they suffer out of conflict.
3) One day will appear like a year. You would realize how far away you have gone from yourself, and how far is the distance in the family. Just talk about this subject and other subjects.
4) Other females in particular find solace in disturbing females(particularly working women) in the evening. Educate the females in the home, including adolescent girls.
5) You may feel that you have too much work and will have to work in the evening. Find what part of the word you can learn and all can benefit(eg body language, or literature).
6) Don’t see children as responsibilities. Become a child and play with them. Not just to do this as an act, but to cherish.
Burnout is not a function of hard work, but rather a function of no healing. Take actions.
G. Conclusion
It’s hard, but not impossible. Don’t just complain. Take steps. Don’t let anyone disturb you after the evening, and don’t disturb others.
