How To Stop Hard and Negative Feelings About A Situation? A Simple Validated Lyfas Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

A. Examples of Negative Feelings For A Situation:

1) Someone said something unexpected to you, (ex: When will you grow up).
2) Someone doesn’t behave the way you expect in a situation.
3) Betryal(say a friend borrowed money and then starts avoiding it when you ask).
4) Cheating.
5) Overhearing: You unintentionally got to hear someone talking about you to another person, unaware that you were present.
6) Non-Reciprocation: You helped someone in their struggle, but when you needed them they were nowhere to be seen.

B. Our Behavior to Such Situations:

Often such unexpected or unbelievable events cause a low feeling and appear to dent your self-esteem.
This appears to alter your perception of yourself, you first keep thinking, and not only about the situation, but all the things you did well with that person, and several other threads start joining your brain. You fail to get out of the hard feelings.

C. key self-observation:

1. Unexpected event.
2. Chain of negative thoughts,
3. Thoughts struck and centered around a single event.
4. Only the good of you, and the bad of that person appear in your memory.
5. You feel cheated, betrayed, like a fool, and unwanted, and your esteem simply collapses, after which you get aggressive(not always able to vent out), then hateful, and then remain in that state.
6. Also observe that you become impulsive and reactive to even other people when you go through this.

D. Philosophical Theory

1. “We are not Buddha or saints, and we have no control over how we feel(at least till we have worked on ourselves for over a decade), but we can always change the way we react and respond to the feeling.”

2. Everyone’s feelings are their choices and no one is responsible for either anyone’s feelings or the actions they take out of the feelings. The way the person for whom you are feeling low, has chosen his/her behavior, the exact same way, you are of your own to choose your behavior.

E. Change this pattern of behavior today

(Chronological Rumination Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(Lyfas Therapeutics LYTH_LHRVS_NEGTH_CRCBT)

1. I want you to first get a diary for yourself.
2. Write down the event in detail. This will be hard at first because, in a negative thought, the brain becomes lazy and doesn’t want to perform intellectual tasks like writing.
3. But you force yourself to write and get disciplined about it.
4. Now the key: When your thoughts about the event come, do not let that event be the starting point of your thoughts.
5. Start from the first moment of that relationship. Remember all the events.
6. Please understand that you don’t care about what someone says or does if that person is not close to you.
7. If the person was bad from the word go, you would have kept a distance.
8. So there are good and bad memories associated with the person.
9. As you start from day 1, start thinking about all your memories together, and come to the event that has hurt you.
10. You will invariably see that hard feelings have vanished.
11. Either way, you save energy by either not remaining negative about the person, or the person becoming irrelevant for you.

Events and people will come and go, but not the moment of life. Take control of your life.

F. Conclusion

There are a few more theoretical aspects you may want to note down alongside this model:

1. Very few people have the ability to behave in a measured way in a situation, and often people act the way they act due to their own aggregated life situations. And parameters affecting anyone’s life are so infinite, that no one is betraying or cheating you, but living their life.

2. You may also notice, that when you have things going well in your life, say money, etc, you will care and focus least on such events. So you must look deeper into the last 2-3 month’s feelings. It may well be possible that others are hurting you, and this event is just a trigger point, a switch, and not the core. Fixing on your core, average and general feelings.

3. Remember that there is no surety of you waking up tomorrow morning Life is unpredictable. You don’t want to spend the last moments of your life in negativity if today was the last day. You also do not want to wake up unhappy tomorrow.

4. When you remain happy, your hormones are better regulated, so are your metabolism and immunity and your brain and body give you better results, and opportunities.
5. Choosing to be negative is someone’s choice, and you don’t have to play to that choice.
Live.