Table of Contents
✍️C. (Assessment) Write Causes
The theory of blame converts a life situation into a life-death problem
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“When people blame you for an adverse outcome, your mind gets aggressive. But when you blame others for an adverse outcome, your brain gets angry, because by blaming others, you remove yourself from needing to address the reasons due to which an outcome became unfavourable”
We already have seen that a life situation becomes a life problem due to over-imagination. This over-imagination is due to constant negative thoughts and feelings. This chain of negative feelings is more due to what people would say and think about a situation, rather than the situation itself.
Even before we try to solve the problem, or address the situation, we want to free ourselves from the negative feelings of the situation.
Because there is no getting rid of the negative feelings without solving the people’s problem, we either resort to blaming people or think of how to brush off any possibility of people blaming us.
A blame is an alloplastic defense mechanism, by means of which we brush of our accountability about a situation and put the responsibility about an unfavourable life situation into something else or someone else.
But because the negative feelings are our subconscious brain’s message to our aware brain to do something about the situation, getting rid of the situation itself denies the pain that the subconscious is feeling, and therefore we can not take action, as we consider that the situation or the problem is due to someone else or something else.
And therefore, if we are to detach the life from the situation that appears like a life-death problem, we need to accept the situation and stop others from blaming us, and stop ourselves from blaming others;
⚙️So
1. Prevent people from blaming you.
2. Stop yourself from blaming others.
Write the 10 ways you caused the problem. Call them Causes.
Case Study: Former Indian Cricket Team Skipper Sourav Ganguly Detached Indian Cricket with the Problem of Not Winning Away Test Match Series
Indian cricket team has been historically considered as tigers in their home ground. This is because India has produced great spin-bowling talents like Erapalli Prasanna, Chandrashekhar, and Anil Kumble.
When a test match was played in India, India prepared spin pitches which visiting teams found hard to deal with. However, as Indian batsmen are too used to getting practice in such pitches and playing their domestic cricket on such pitches, they would find it hard to cope-up with the fast bowling and fast foreign pitches. There was a patch of time for almost 10 years when India did not win even a single foreign test match, leaving apart the series.
Earlier whenever India went to play an away series, they were already under pressure by the press and media of that country that “Visiting team will lose as they are home tigers”.
Indian cricket was considered as Home-Winning cricket team. You see in every field people make a perception and tell you who you are. Sourav Ganguly took charge of the Indian cricket team in 1999 after many star players of the team were banned due to match-fixing scandals and India’s pathetic Australian tour under the captainship of Sachin Tendulkar who refused to remain as a captain as it affected his batsmanship.
Sourav Ganguly detached the problem of “No Away Test Match Win” from Indian cricket and decided that the away test match win will require three fast bowlers. He started to incorporate three fast bowlers in the test team of four bowlers, where India traditionally played 2-3 spinners. This was a baby step that wouldn’t result in any immediate test victories outside, as there were several other problems including a batsman’s inability to play on the fast pitches. But as India started playing more fast bowlers, the batsmen also got confident and India started performing well outside. India went on to win not only test matches but also test series outside by this small step of detatching a problem from the life.
Just as how Indian cricketers would be under tremendous pressure due to other people’s perception of them as failures on foreign soil, they would lose matches psychologically much before they actually lost the match. This is the same pattern that you will observe in your life too.
Some tough situations in life, some unfavorable outcomes, and people would already mark you as a failure, which would put you under pressure and you will aggressively try to prove people wrong. In that quest, your focus will be people, not your performance or the problem.