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Are You a Codependent Who Attracts Narcissists? Test Your Codependency Online With Free Mental Health Psychology Questionnaire Based Test Using Scientifically Validated Friel’s Codependency Assessment Inventory

What is your codependency level and chances of attracting a narcissist?

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Narcissism is a psychological disorder where an individual becomes extremely authoritative and wants all the admiration, attention, and adulation. Narcissism is a spectrum, and all of us have some degree of narcissism. However, a person who is high on the narcissistic spectrum has a very high need for admiration, adulation, and attention. Know that one needs them more if one is insecure about one’s self-esteem internally. It is then the individual needs an external locus of control for connecting with their core. Therefore, individuals high on narcissism require a lot of emotion from their partner. Because by definition, narcissists believe that they deserve everything that you are doing for them, no matter how much you do, it is never enough. The partner often gets squeezed in such relationships.


Often the partner of an individual high on narcissism becomes what we call a codependent. Or, someone with a high degree of codependency gets attached to narcissists, and they attract narcissists. The narcissists appear to be in control of their life, as they are good at faking. They are often successful people because they can ramp ahead in their career, crushing other competitors as they have limited empathy and care nothing more than their own needs. Narcissists appear like an Alpha personality, likable, humorous, and caring, albeit all of them are just masks. They need someone to keep validating them, admiring them, and loving them because they deserve it. They are the omnipotent, the God-like, destiny’s own son, and they deserve everything. When a person gets attached to a narcissist, the narcissist gives a lot of attention, which is nothing but giving attention to himself, in order to feel that “I am special, I am taking more care than others.” However, you get swayed away by this attention, which slowly becomes an addiction. You dedicate your heart and soul to this person to win their heart. You somehow believe that they will change, but they won’t. Therefore you try harder and harder till a point that you are no more able to manage. Also, the narcissist gets more and more unsatisfied with you over time and gets aggressive and angry. So, you feel like walking in the shell. This affects many of your other aspects of life. Thus codependency becomes a character trait. Knowing your codependency levels makes you aware of your inclination to attract narcissistic and dysfunctional personalities. Codependency in itself is a dysfunctional personality. However, this can be fixed. Particularly those who are high on Codependency are low on self-esteem and can use Ross Rosenberg’s “Observe don’t Absorb” method.

About the Instrument

Reliability of the inventory was reported to be between .83 and .85 on fairly homogeneous samples with a somewhat restricted range (Friel & Friel, 1987). Therefore this instrument is a valid instrument.


[1]Friel, J.C. (1985). Codependency assessment inventory: A preliminary research tool. Focus on the Family and Chemical Dependency, 8(1), 20-21.


Individuals with moderate to high codependency scores are at a higher risk of attracting narcissists or perhaps may already be in a relationship with a narcissist. If you have a high level of codependency, then you are probably in a relationship with a narcissist or have had a narcissistic environment during childhood. You will probably be looking for a way out. This post explaining Observe Don’t Absorb of Ross Rosenberg may help you to start with defense.

Additional Resources

Understand the fundamental science of Narcissism and Love(beyond the online noise and misinformation). In this video session, I walk you through the core science behind narcissism. Remember, life is not about searching for a solution, but rather life is all about meaning. Once you understand why certain things are the way they are, you can control your life better. Watch the video and learn about love and narcissism. It is your empathy that protects you from narcissism(both yours as well as being targeted by those suffering from narcissism). Test your empathy scale with our clinically validated free online empathy scale.   Get one of the most detailed books ever written to make you intimate with yourself, your life, and your relationships. 95% of people on this planet simply complain and suffer because they do not take action. Suffering then becomes a habit. Not only do they suffer, but they also make others suffer too because they become extremely envious of the happiness of others. We appreciate your actions, and the fact that you have started self-assessment and actions, suggests that you do not simply want to sit there and play a victim card. Get your book from us and obtain a 20% discount due to your association with us(shipped globally). Use the coupon code EZCE584E for the discount.


This test is provided as-is. Acculi Labs Pvt. Ltd. and Lyfas take no responsibility for the harm arising from taking the test, including Hypochondriasis, mental trauma, and others. Furthermore, we take no responsibility for the validity and accuracy of the test. This is adapted from the original PBQ test. This is an anonymous test, and we do not capture your sensitive data that reveals your identity, including your name, GPS, mobile number, etc. However, we log your IP address along with the final test result(not individual answers). No medicine can be prescribed based on the results of this test. By taking the test, you agree to not hold Acculi Labs Pvt. Ltd. Bangalore and Lyfas are not responsible and liable for any damage.

Take Codependency to Check Your Potential of Attracting a Narcissist

1.I make enough time to do things for myself every week.
2.I spend lots of time criticizing myself after an interaction with someone.
3.I would not be embarrassed if people knew certain things about me.
4.Sometimes I feel like I just waste a lot of time and don’t get anywhere.
5.I take good enough care of myself.
6.It is usually best not to tell someone they bother you; it only causes fights and gets everyone upset.
7.I am happy about the way my family communicated when I was growing up.
8.Sometimes I don’t know how I really feel.
9.I am very satisfied with my intimate love life.
10.I’ve been feeling tired lately.
11.When I was growing up, my family liked to talk openly about problems.
12.I often look happy when I am sad or angry.
13.I am satisfied with the number and kind of relationships I have in my life.
14.Even if I had the time and money to do it, I would feel uncomfortable taking a vacation by myself.
15.I have enough help with everything that I must do every day.
16.I with that I could accomplish a lot more than I do now.
17.My family taught me to express feelings and affection openly when I was growing up.
18.It is hard for me to talk to someone in authority (boss, teachers, etc.).
19.When I am in a relationship that becomes too confusing and complicated,I have no trouble getting out of it.
20.I sometimes feel pretty confused about who I am and where I want to go with my life.
21.I am satisfied with the way I take care of my own needs.
22.I am not satisfied with my career.
23.I usually handle my problems calmly and directly.
24.I hold back my feelings much of the time because I don’t want to hurtother people or have them think less of me.
25.I don’t feel like I’m “in a rut” very often.
26.I am not satisfied with my friendships.
27.When someone hurts my feelings or does something I don’t like, I have little difficulty telling them about it.
28.When a close friend or relative asks for my help more than I’d like, I usually say “yes” anyway.
29.I love to face new problems and am good at finding solutions for them.
30.I do not feel good about my childhood.
31.I am not concerned about my health a lot.
32.I often feel like no one really knows me.
33.I feel calm and peaceful most of the time.
34.I find it difficult to ask for what I want.
35.I don’t let people take advantage of me.
36.I am dissatisfied with at least one of my close relationships.
37.I make major decisions quite easily.
38.I don’t trust myself in new situations as much as I’d like.
39.I am very good at knowing when to speak up and when to go along with others’ wishes.
40.I wish I had more time away from my work.
41.I am as spontaneous as I’d like to be.
42.Being alone is a problem for me.
43.When someone I love is bothering me, I have no problem telling them so.
44.I often have so many things going on at once that I’m really not doing justice to any one of them.
45.I am very comfortable letting others into my life and letting them see the “real me”.
46.I apologize to others too much for what I say or do.
47.I have no problem telling people when I am angry with them.
48.There’s so much to do and not enough time.
49.I have few regrets about what I have done with my life.
50.I tend to think of others more than I do of myself.
51.More often than not, my life has gone the way I wanted it to.
52.People admire me because I’m so understanding of others, even when they do something that annoys me.
53.I am comfortable with my own sexuality.
54.I sometimes feel embarrassed by the behavior of those close to me.
55.The important people in my life know the “real me” and I am okay with them knowing.
56.I do my share of work and often do a bit more.
57.I do not feel that everything would fall apart without my efforts and attention.
58.I do too much for other people and then later wonder why I did so.
59.I am happy about the way my family coped with problems when I was growing up.
60.I wish that I had more people to do things with.
61.What is Your Gender?
62.What is Your Age Group?

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