Table of Contents
Evolution
50 lakh years ago when Homo Sapiens started their amazing journey towards excellence, they used to live in the jungle. Men had to go out haunting. Women had to stay back to look after the children.
When the man left for arranging the food, the certainty of his coming back would be thin. If he didn’t, it would be catastrophic for the woman and her children as she would be left at the mercy of other men to provide food and protection for her and her children. This extraordinary pressure and fear got encoded into the genes. Now, if a woman doesn’t wait for her man to come back, then she feels anxious. When a woman sees her man in the house all the time, the evolutionary memory triggers her. This is the foundation of understanding the evolutionary psychology of the mind for relationships and love.
Genetic Code
A man’s gene would not expect to come back and therefore his gene would be always concerned about the safety and well-being of the family.
Women gene on the other hand would be skeptical and restless if her man was late to come. The more the delay, the more she knew it will be difficult for her family. Hence, from the evolutionary perspective, our mind expects the following:-
- A man to protect, provide and procreate.
- A woman to hoard, reserve, safeguard resources to be used if her man doesn’t come back.
- The man to be a hunter, and bring food for the family.
- The woman to be a gatherer, and make sure that the food is widely distributed to the family.
- The man to acquire social wealth and power so that his family is safe.
- Women to take care of the tribe like their own children and ensure fairness.
- The man to love his wife and the family, and the women to respect their man and acknowledge the risks the man is taking to bring food.
- The man to come back from the hunting and tell the stories to their women.
- The woman to remember these stories and guide her man and children with the stories.
- Throughout evolution, the men would hunt. Women selected the best hunters for mating.
- Therefore there would be competition around the able men amongst the women.
- This is the core reason for a female jealousy.
Modern Society
If the man is late, is not reachable, is not communicable, the evolutionary fear would trigger in women. Her genes will be restless and afraid thinking that her man will not come back. So she would be furious. It’s her love and her fear of never seeing her man again. It’s all in the gene.
That is another reason, why men must avoid working from home. Read our article on the hazards of working from home for men.
Conclusion
Each one of us sometimes or the other has suffered from some of the other related issues. Whether it is the inability to convey our love to the one that we love or to see good love relationships falling apart. Often we wonder, what else can be done to improve our love life? It is very important for you to understand the genetic code of love, from the evolutionary perspective. Modern society of 200 years is far too small in comparison to 1.8 million years of our evolution. Once you understand evolutionary psychology, you will start understanding the things you need to do to improve your love life and relationships.
You can take our love-attitude free online test to see what kind of lover you are.
References
[1] McBurney, Donald H., et al. “Superior spatial memory of women: Stronger evidence for the gathering hypothesis.” Evolution and Human Behavior 18.3 (1997): 165-174.
[2]Geary, David C. Male, female: The evolution of human sex differences. American Psychological Association, 2010.
[3]Symons, Donald. “The evolution of human sexuality.” (1979).
[4] Eagly, Alice H., and Wendy Wood. “The origins of sex differences in human behavior: Evolved dispositions versus social roles.” American psychologist 54.6 (1999): 408.