In this article, we will learn about How to identify social media influencers, life coaches, fake gurus, and fake growth experts? How to detect their lies? How is a real successful person differs from such fake people? Why do such fake gurus show themselves with money, girls, and cars? How do they target the dreams and hopes of youth? Who gets lured by such fake gurus?
Table of Contents
A. How do motivational coaches and marketers mislead and misguide the youth?
Example of how bad advice can screw a startup
Let’s say a motivator watched Mark Manson’s “The Art of stop giving a f**k” summary on youtube. (Brain doesn’t work in two ways, pimps can’t read books) and says to a founder “Start giving f**k to one thing, f**k the rest.”
A startup is a core technology like Intel Chips, Apple computers, Googlewire, not silly Doordash(stupid times, stupid VCs). A pimp who has not written a single line of code would then convince the founder, to take this one thing to market.
Well, the unsuspecting founder will then see billion-dollar dreams and pay 5% equity to try to take his AI-enabled exercise shoe to market.
The pimp and the follower have not jogged for 10 years, have not built code for 10 years, have not worked with Olympians, and the half-information gyaan not knowing Technology is a moonshot will then waste $250 Million to solve a problem that doesn’t exist.
Innovation =Invention x Commercialization.
One has to give a f**k about the market, emotions, customers, users, technology change, inflammation, geo-political changes, and literally anything and everything to build anything.
Stupidity always looks for the validation of its knowledge, but only another stupid fall for it.
B. What is the difference between the ones who have been there, done that with those who are just talkers and motivators?
You see just like our last example where a startup founder is misled by advisers who form their “assumed knowledge” from watching videos and reading stories from books, the way such advisers, self-proclaimed coaches, and social media influencers create a wrong worldview amongst the youth.
Anyone who does something, works hard, faces the challenges of life, excels in a career, creates something, has to go through significant competition, failures, betrayals, losses, and obviously emotional turmoils. The path to excellence gives one the competence to deal with various life and professional situations better than the rest. People who have achieved significant growth in life by creating values in other life know that life is not a bed of roses. Their words and sentences will be loaded with reality, contradiction, pain, failures, and many such negative emotions.
Such people who succeed by hard work know that there is no shortcut and when life and the market take your exam, no motivation or facts come to save you. You have to stand there, and face the storm, take the punches, get bled, fall, and then stand up again to fight back. When you are in the middle of such a bloody fight in your life or career, your brain doesn’t think and plan but works based on instincts instantly, and then your success depends on your ability to handle pressure, take punches, fail, and yet stand there. In those situations, your ability to survive depends on your mental and physical strength.
Critical battles in life and career make you alone, and it is you who has to deal with those hard situations. It is you who has to fight it out. Irrespective of how many people you have in life, you will be left alone.
So, you understand that life is not a fantasy or romanticized version. Therefore anyone who has been there, and done that will be humble, down to earth, living in reality, and will be grateful to God, parents, and people. They will not talk about the strategies and shortcuts that you can adopt to edge past the competition. They know that any such success is mere luck. You must do everything in your capacity to put such luck away.
Such men who have been there, and done that will talk about discipline, hard work, integrity, honesty, patience, perseverance, attention, focus, and so on.
Those who have been there, and done that have been able to do what they have done due to the support, love, and respect the others, by the teaching of the seniors, and would always be grateful to people. They would know that sharing their wisdom is their duty, not their profession.
The achievers will not motivate anyone, because they would know that it is only the action and not the motivation that works in real life.
The achievers will not appear in branded cars, or clothes, or present a glorified version of themselves because they know that life is unpredictable and they may lose everything they have the very next day. Achievers never try to present themselves with brands and glitters. Their wisdom, knowledge, and achievements are their tools, they are the brands.
On the other hand the motivators, and the fake gurus, the preachers, the coaches would talk about superficial models(that they have studied from other books), money, cars, holidays, travel, pleasure. Such non-achievers will present struggle in poor light. Such non-achievers will present poverty as a curse. They will present hard work as a bad thing and preach some shortcuts with which one can magically become rich.
The fake motivators would be showing fake branded clothes, fake branded cars, fake private jets, fake bungalows, fake money, fake girlfriends, fake holidays, and fake income because nothing about them is real.
| Parameter | Achievers | Influencers |
|---|---|---|
| Appearance | Modest, humble, simple | branded, expansive accessories. |
| Principles | Discipline, Dedication, Hard work, Consistency, Patience, Focus, attention, daily improvements. | Shortcuts, hacks, strategies, methods. |
| Teach with | Personal failure experiences. | Case studies, that are read from other books or a superficial client. |
| Give credit to | People, God, Parents, Seniors. | Will claim to be self-made. |
| Will consider wealth as | Knowledge, wisdom, experience, people | Money. |
| Purpose | Serving humanity and society. | Get rich quickly and live a life in holidays, yachts, fun, and pleasure. |
| Will warn against | Compliscence, shortcuts, showoffs | Hard work, struggle, poverty. |
| Growth model | Compounding, a little growth every day. | Exponential. Jump the ladder. |
| The purpose of using social media | Teaching | The purpose for using social media |
| Message | experiment, learn, do, and take others with you. | Motivation, hope, positivity, |
| Measure of success | Benefits to the society. | Self-growth |
C. The Showoff Mania of the fake motivational gurus and fake influencers
You see Dan Lok and others on youtube, they have to show because they have nothing inside, a void. They talk about themselves, show cars, and travel because they try to convince you hard that they are successful. From the last section, we already know that those who have worked hard and achieved couldn’t have done it alone and would need the entire society to support them to reach anywhere in life.
Those who have reached higher in their professional career and business, can not show off, because they know that over 80% of people who have been with them are living a modest life, and showing off would push people away. Life humbles the achievers. Life humbles the ones who are at the top. They don’t have to post their pictures with fancy cars on social media to prove their worth. People know their worth.
Such achievers do not seek to be happy, but rather they seek to be helpful and purposeful in life. That is why, they do not have to post their pictures to prove their happiness. They know that life is hardly about any pleasure, and it is just a navigation through pain. They will not encourage youth towards money, and would never talk about money because they know that life is much beyond money.
A successful person is one about whom people will talk. You have to read my book Intimacy Laws for Men, life is not about 60 years, it has to be big, and live through your genes for 1000 years. Your Tuxedo won’t survive for 1000 years, but your deeds and genes will.
Because the fake gurus are insecure, liars, and cheaters, and just want to influence you through the shortcut of money and glitter, they have to show off to attract you to follow them and aspire to be like them. They spend all their money on expensive photoshoots, videography, marketing, and branding because they know that they do not have any inner substance or competence. All they have is confidence and charm with which they would have to attract people and take away their money. They have to show that earning money is easy, and if you are poor, then you are not smart like them. By taking advice and coaching from them you will learn the secrets that they know but no one else knows, with which even you can become a millionaire like them.
We have got 100 years of life, only because achieving anything is a game of decades, and not a few days or months. If life makes you rich instantly, then the purpose of life itself ends, which will soon end the life itself.
In the 1990s India had one such fake management guru named Arindam Choudhury. He created a parallel management institute named IIPM(Indian Institute of Planning and Management). He proclaimed to be a doctorate and worked with several international agencies such as the FBI. He claimed to have knowledge in every subject in the world and presented himself as the management guru that this country needed but could never have. He possessed no real-life expertise, no skills, no understanding of business, no formal education, and certainly no established research to get a doctorate degree. He showed foreign dreams to youth. Parents arranged lakhs of rupees and got their kin admitted to IIPM. Within a few years, the IIPM scheme busted, when lakhs of students lost their parent’s money and had no jobs.
D. Who Gets Lured by the Showoff Maniacs?
It is not that such fake are not exposed by the media and are not talked about by others on Youtube. It is not that there is no one who warns the youth against such people who wants their money.
However, money is not just money. It is a psychology. It entices one’s greed. It evokes one’s desires.
Money attracts the low lives like shit attracts flees, or honey attracts bees;
The problem is both the flee and the bee die fast.
There is always a large population who are lazy but greedy. They always look at others and desire to have whatever they see others have. Such greedy people neither have any skills, nor any brains. They never worked hard in life from their childhood to do anything meaningful. They have always complained about life.
Excuses for failures are always ready with them. Such people think that life is unfair, and they are not unfair to themselves. They always schemes and scams that if this had happened, then I would be happy. If I had that, I would be satisfied. Such people think they never have what it needs to be happy and satisfied, and always want something. And when they do not have what they think they need to be happy, it is always the fault of the others.
Such people were bad students in their childhood. They do not possess any creativity or skills. They have always looked for easy ways out. They have no self-respect and self-love and always think that people should love and respect them. They would take loans to show off. They would go to any distance to appear at a higher social status. They would not hesitate to steal, forage, or snatch from others what they need. They would always think that they are smart and hence they can beat the hardworking donkeys.
Because such an attitude would never make anyone survive and live a meaningful life, and even if they get some momentary success, they will eventually squander all the advantages because of their attitude, they would always be hoping for and dreaming about success one day. Their purpose is not to serve society but to ensure that they appear good in the eyes of others.
They spend most of their life in dreaming and see themselves as larger than life in their vision. They are the first to jump out of their own ship when the ship starts shaking in the slightest of the winds. They are quick and fast to take credit for anything and pass the blames to others.
Such people who have lived their lives in hopes, dreams, showoffs, shortcuts, complaints, comparison, envy, greed, and hate, who avoided hard work, but always thought they worked hard, who had a horrible life habit, are the ones who would be attracted by the dream merchants.
If you match the above description, then you have to first break this pattern. You need to get disciplined about your life. You need to get rid of your desire to show off people. You need to get rid of your dreams and hopes and come back to reality. You need to build good habits and work every day like there is no tomorrow. When your current life gets tough, you must change your habit of running. You need to stand there, commit ten years of life and battle it out. You need to
E. Conclusion
Remember, life is not about how people see you, it is about how much you can do for people and how people consider you to be valuable. Don’t get crushed by debts to show people how successful you are. Don’t waste your life on dreams and hopes. You are born unique. Irrespective of how you have lived in the past, you can still make your present and future meaningful. Stop thinking that such cars and travels are any meaningful pursuits of life and that anything in life will change with such accessories. We live life through our core. It is the internal world of yours that needs to get better every day. You have worked for over a decade to get rid of your envy and greed. You need to accept life, adapt to life, build skills, improve daily.
Money can’t save parents from heart attacks. People do. And no one comes to be with a person driving Mercedes in their bad times. People say “Huh, they have money, they will solve it, they don’t need us.”
You don’t want a life where people are with you for what you can do and give with money. Earn mercilessly, but invest in the social infrastructure. Not many can understand this, but you can.
Who cares about those limited people’s envy when 90% of society stands by you, supports you, and sets their hope and trust in you? That’s timeless.
